


we should just kiss like real people do

by holymackerel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Angst, Confessions, Frottage, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension, also religion is shown heavily here so tread carefully if questioning of religion may offend you, also sorry mom, and eren being eren, and to the future ones too, apologies to my current and previous english teachers, i came up with this fic idea during a rare visit to church bc i am the epitome of unholiness, i'm too invested in these idiots, there are so many tags i'm sorry, they're both around seventeen in this, this is literally just jean getting a hard on during church and the aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 19:31:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4889272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holymackerel/pseuds/holymackerel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean thanks the existence of bibles as they serve as very effective boner shields.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we should just kiss like real people do

**Author's Note:**

> this is a complete mess but eren and jean are also a mess so hopefully this didn't turn out too bad, i hope you enjoy !
> 
> (p.s: this fic is loosely inspired by two songs: 'Like Real People Do' and 'Take Me To Church', both by the hella talented Hozier so you can give them both a spin whilst reading if you'd like to)
> 
> (p.s.s: the two boys are aged seventeen in this, i mentioned it in the tags but it might not be that visible so here ya go)

Sweat sticks to the wooden pews, everything sticks. The hot scent pervading through the small town's church, the loose material of Jean's black slacks, the not-so-loose material of Eren's skinny jeans, the damn narrow-minded expectations of this suffocating town, the image of Eren's ethereal eyes sticking to the back of Jean's eyelids.

Jean treads this town with a careful composition, wary of people questioning him and his lack of a girlfriend. Always making sure to stop his eyes from lingering too long, changing the pronoun in his journal from 'he' to 'she', keeping banned library books containing homosexual connotations tucked under his mattress. He is constantly brimming with excuses as to why he doesn't have a girlfriend yet, a mirror-rehearsed lie ready to make way through his lips,  _"I'm trying to keep my focus on school"_  or _"I'm too afraid to ask any girls out"_.

_Do your homework, be polite, fake your notice towards how pretty that girl is, tell your friends you'd totally do her, go to church, don't let them see that you're different. Wash, rinse, repeat._   

He's let himself go on rare occasions, some of them being lonesome drives to the city. His time spent there in nightclubs, all bass and smoke and gyrating hips, rendezvous to dingy toilet cubicles with nameless boys. Another occasion being too much whiskey swimming in Jean's head and a chaste kiss placed on his best friend Marco's lips of Jean's behalf. This resulted with Jean choking out apologies with tears streaming down his face, Marco clutching him close and whispering reassurances, promising he won't dare tell a soul.

He tunes out the priest's words, the sentences never make way through his mind. It's not like he has anything against God, or whatever. Jean is sure he's a cool dude, but he does not and will not respect the treatment some (though not all) Christians show towards people who aren't straight, or even the least bit non-conforming. As much as he has given up, as much as he hides his real identity, he won't let the inhabitants of this place cloud his mind. He will not change for them (as much as he wishes to sometimes). But he conceals what he has to in order to keep safe, in order to survive.

Eren is restless next to him, knee bobbing to a expeditious silent tune, fingers dancing on slim but powerful thighs. It's not a rare occasion for them to be seated next to each other during morning Sunday mass, except everything has been different lately.

Though Eren makes Jean want to tear his face off in frustration, he is still drawn to him. Like a moth to the light of an electronic insect zapper. Jean talks a load of bullshit, but Eren is the only one who'll tell him off, the only one who'll push back. Somewhere during this timeline of petty fights and bruised knuckles, he found himself enjoying the impish boy's company. Not particularly minding his mindless rants or the rambunctious sound of his laugh. Eren is startling and fearless. Not afraid to wear his jeans a little tighter than most boys would get away with and lines his eyelid with gold. Eren is  _otherworldly_ -  and dare he says it, the only unpredictable person in this predictable town. He carries his head high despite all the shit he gets for refusing to be the way they want him to be.

The garish sun bathes the church, highlighting the wild brown tousles of Eren's hair, gracing a slight blush onto his tan cheeks. The intensity of the oceanic blues and greens and the gold flecks in his eyes challenge the colourful rays flooding through the stained glass chapel windows. Jean tries not to notice this, just like he tries not to notice that he kinda really  _likes_  Eren. He likesthe feel of the green eyed boy on top of him, the two of them grappling in the dusty school yard, eyes alight with adrenaline. He tries not to recognise the twist in his gut when Eren meets his eyes, this particular clusterfuck of feelings is so easily identifiable yet so easy to deny. He tries to tell himself that he doesn't think this boy is beautiful, though the truthful voice in his head says otherwise.

There are waves of tension emitting from the both of them, putting them on edge like staring into the face of a whirlpool. Maybe it's all just in Jean's imagination, or maybe Eren has begun to notice Jean's behaviour and is suspecting. This cloud of tension settled over them after one certain conversation. It involved Eren inquiring if Jean had a girlfriend and Jean, being the anxious wreck he is, shot back defensively and questioned Eren questioning him.  Eren then  asked if Jean was gay, and Jean was shocked at how he could so casually ask that. Like Jean hasn't been trying to hide that fact since he developed his first crush on a boy in primary school. It scares him how Eren easily came to that conclusion and makes him fret whether others have stumbled upon that burning question as well.

When Jean didn't answer the question, Eren just made some shitty excuse to leave and exited Jean's small bedroom, leaving Jean alone with the sound of rain pattering on his window and his heartbeat trying to escape his chest.  They haven't really had a natural conversation since and the elephant in the room hasn't been confronted, whatever that elephant is.

 

Despite all the weird friendship tension going between them, Jean is still horribly turned on right now. Maybe it's the heat mixed with general hormones, or maybe it's because Eren is next to him and Jean can smell his scent and his white buttoned shirt looks really good on him and his cheeks are flushed and he keeps wiping sweat from his brow and for some reason he won't stop fucking shifting.  The heat continues coiling in Jean's gut and his thoughts can't help but wander. Want throbs throughout his body as he imagines pulling Eren onto his lap and grabbing his pert little ass, grinding their crotches together and lapping at the sweat on Eren's neck, drinking in the musky scent of sex and Eren's throaty _ahh's_  and  _mhmm's_. 

Jean thanks the existence of bibles as they serve as very effective boner shields.    

 

-   


Somehow, Jean escaped that endless sermon. He was looking forward to going home, to taking a shower and maybe thinking about Eren during that shower with one hand braced on the tile wall and another hand curled around himself.   

He really needs to sort out this gay shit and, I dunno, go get laid or sort out his feelings.

Instead of returning to his small bathroom and relieving himself, his and Eren's parents decided it'd be a  _fantastic_  idea to go out for lunch together. Like that couldn't make Jean's situation any harder, literally. So here is Jean, sullenly entering some Country Club. Though there's no golf fields and he recognises nearly every face in here. 

Eren sits across Jean, their respective mother's beside them. The menu in front of his eyes is difficult to decipher, his eyes are unable to focus. All he wants to do is kick Eren under the table. _"What's going on?"_ , _"Why aren't we speaking?"_ , _"What do I mean to you?"_ , the questions threaten to leave his tongue but a dead weight in his chest holds him back.

Eren and Jean focus their attention on the meals in front of them, actively trying not to meet each other's gaze. Eren's mom later points out that the two of them are being uncharacteristically quiet, the two boys reply in noncommittal hums. The kind of hum you share when your mum asks how your day at school was, just like nothing ever happened. Or like nothing is going on, it's not like Jean has been swimming in anxious feelings at all. No biggie.

Eyes glazed over and poking at his uneaten food, Jean's reverie is interrupted when Eren abruptly kicks his leg under the table and cocks his head, green eyes inviting Jean to go with him somewhere. Jean warily stands up with Eren at the silent invitation, his heartbeat accelerating and fluttering all the way down to his fingertips.

"Mom, Jean and I are bored out of our minds so we're gonna go walk around," Eren announces.

Jean is thankful Eren spoke for both of them, he doesn't trust his voice right now.    
  


The silence is thick and heavy as Eren seems to be leading them upstairs. The building is rather large, all tall ceilings  and  empty function rooms with built in bars and stages. 

"Where are we going?" Jean pipes up, trying to keep his voice level.

Neither of them really wandering around with a sense of direction, they come to a stop in front of a large door.

"Dunno, I just wanted to do something," Eren chimes casually, with the relaxed tone he'll use for anything but ranting and arguing. Is none of this affecting him at all? Maybe Jean doesn't affect Eren at all and he's just someone to kill time with, Jean's throat tightens at the thought.

Eren pushes the door open and they come to find an incredibly large dark room, an unused bar sheds little light from the glass refrigerators. A decently sized stage takes its place at the back of the room, rows of cushioned chairs seated in front of the stage cover a section of the hall. Jean would probably be a tad creeped out if Eren wasn't there with him, but the darkness has a peaceful feel to it. It's the kind of darkness that you can lose yourself in.

Eren, being Eren, enters the small bar and attempts to open one of the fridges filled with various bottles of alcohol.

"It's gonna be locked," Jean sighs. And it is, the shiny padlock glares at Eren with its glinting metal. 

"Lame," Eren laments, a pout seen on his lips. 

Jean walks towards the chairs in front of the stage, they're a typical black and foldable kind of chair. Nothing special, but Jean is finding it rather difficult to breathe so sitting on one eases his discomfort a bit. He stretches his legs and closes his eyes, attempting to slow his breathing.

Eren's voice pipes up from above,  "Somehow, I expected this to be more entertaining."

Jean abruptly opens his eyes to find him standing next to him.

At Eren's words, something in Jean bursts.

"What were you possibly expecting, Jaeger? For me to play fucking Marco Polo with you?" Jean eyes are ablaze with anger and his clasps his hands into fists to try to ease their shaking.

"What the fuck is your problem, Kirstein?" Eren challenges, though he's taken slightly aback at Jean's outburst.   


"Don't play dumb, asshole," Jean's voice shakes and he can feel tears pricking at his eyes. He stands up and faces Eren, the boy fucking with his mind. Who probably doesn't give two shits about him. "My problem is that you haven't properly spoken to me since you asked me that question," Jean takes a step closer to Eren and prays that he can't see the tears in his eyes but continues shouting anyway, "You're afraid, right? You can't even stand to be around me because I like cock."

Eren makes the first shove, "How dare you assume shit like that?". 

"How."  _Shove_  "Fucking."  _Shove_ "Dare you?!"  _Shove_.

The last push sends them toppling to the floor, Eren crouched above Jean. 

"What else am I supposed to assume, fuckface?!" Jean spits, their faces close and seething.

Eren's eyes flicker with a fire so intense that Jean thinks he's never seen them that bright before, it's like he's hiding embers in them - wait, not embers, but forest fires. Indestructible, ever-glowing forest fires. And before he can even flinch awaiting a punch from Eren's fist, a pair of soft lips mash onto his. He gasps but it goes unheard because Eren is quickly swallowing it. 

Something leaves Eren - the ghost of his questioning about whether Jean feels the same and the fears of rejection. A strange sort of relief envelops his body because he knows he'll get his answer soon. Eren slowly lifts his head to check for Jean's facial reaction and it feels like trying to gently pull a band-aid off, but he can't catch a proper glimpse because his face is being tugged down again by Jean's needy hands caught in his wild hair.

Eren breaks away again, breathless, and speaks his mind (he's never been good at holding his tongue), "I've.."  _pant_ "wanted to do that for ages."

Jean smiles a small gentle smile and Eren kinda dies a little inside, "Me too," Jean chuckles, "you asshole."

Jean wonders when their insults began sounding more like pet names. He tugs Eren back to him, the intensity that held their previous kiss awakening once more.   
  
Jean thinks it feels like fire, just like Eren feels. Not warm but hot, so overwhelmingly hot that you know if you get any closer it'll be dangerous but it's addicting and it keeps beckoning you for more and it alights parts of your body that you had no idea had the ability to  _feel that good_. Their mouths are uncontrollable, teeth nipping at the other's lips and tongues brushing each other's with blazing fervor. Though it's not the most graceful of kisses Jean has experienced, it's all he's ever wanted. It's a blur of lips and a harmony of moans slipping and all Jean can think is  _ErenErenEren_. The only prayer he's interested in chanting.

Jean's lips crane above to travel to the expanse of Eren's neck and begin to plant heated kisses there, sucking a red mark near his Adam's apple. And then, Eren releases a wanton whimper and everything is a blur and Jean is now on top of Eren, kissing and licking and sucking his neck with a need to keep hearing those noises slipping from his (maybe) lover's lips. 

Eren's hair fans around his face and his lips are bruised a sinful hue and his cheeks are flushed and his eyelids are heavy with arousal, Jean thinks the sight below him should be illegal but the boy is too beautiful to be seen as something unlawful. He can't keep this thought locked in his head, not this one, so he speaks it. "You're beautiful," he murmurs and it's soft and loving but you can hear the desperation beneath it, the need to make Eren come undone and put him back together.

Eren can't comprehend how his body wants to react at that, he wants to cry because this beautiful amber eyed boy thinks he's beautiful  _too_ but he also wants to kiss Jean senseless and repeat that act endlessly because  _goddamn_ , he never knew praising would get to him like that but here we are. So Eren flips him over, now perched on Jean's lap like they were originally. Because they've always been like that, wanting to have the upper hand but now all Eren wants is to  _show_ how lost he is in this idiot. He leans down to kiss said idiot once more, hands trailing to Jean's shirt collar and thumbing the obstructive buttons, looking up to him for approval. Jean nods and lets out a shaky breath, eager for Eren's touch on his bare skin.

Eren quickly gets to work, hastily unbuttoning the offensive plastic circles and worshipping Jean's chest with sloppy kisses and occasional bites. When Eren's tongue encircles around a pink nipple, Jean lets out a particularly loud moan. He clamps a hand over his mouth in embarrassment, cheeks flushing even more in colour. Eren ceases his tonguing and rasps in a husky aroused tone, 

"Don't be quiet, babe. I wanna hear all the pretty noises you make," his heated gaze trained on Jean. Just as he says this, he pinches the opposite nipple and Jean whines desperately, hips involuntarily bucking up onto Eren's ass. He didn't think it was _possible_ to make a sound like that before.

Amplifying the heat between them, Eren begins to grind his ass against Jean's clothed dick. Jean goes slack-mouthed and his eyes slip close. Just to tease Jean (and because Eren is Eren), he halts his movements and Eren's hearing is graced with a pitiful, needy whine. 

"P-please..." Jean's voice shakes with reverence, "your shirt...move again...please."    


Eren groans out loud at Jean's begging, at how needy he is, Jean is so fucking needy and Eren can't believe he's the cause of it. He unbuttons his own white shirt clumsily yet rapidly, chucks it somewhere in the sea of chairs and leans down to embrace Jean's lips with his own, because lips like Jean's deserve to be kissed and praised.

Jean grabs Eren's ass cheeks with his hands and begins to rub their crotches together, Eren gasps in Jean's mouth and Jean continues to elicit heavenly sounds from him. Their hips meet together over and over and  _over_ again. Jean wants to chant to the heavens and the heavens is right above him and he is a panting, breathtaking mess and Jean wants to love this boy forever. Their hands aren't still, eager touches are placed everywhere, not satisfied with remaining still and pliant but wanting to  _devour_ and  _be devoured_. 

The burn in their guts just strengthens and strengthens and Eren knows they'll reach their limits soon. Eren unzips his and Jean's flys, eyes meeting Jean's once again for approval and he is rewarded with a faint whimper, "Please, Eren."

And it's the first time Jean has spoken his name all day and it's spoken from rosy, well-kissed lips that are glazed over with saliva and Eren wants to replay that sound and keep it in his fucking pocket or some shit like that so he can listen to it any time. 

Without hesitation, Eren grips both of their cocks with a closed fist and begins to move his hips, the feeling is fucking  _magical_   and he can't help but release a low groan, "Oh fuck, _Jean_."

Jean returns the movements with equal fervor and places another hand on top of their dicks, enhancing the sensation and bringing them both closer to the edge. Jean's gaze holds Eren's with a shameless want, he can't get over how undeniably beautiful Eren looks right now. There is a softness in his green eyes that is paired with a look of desire so desperate it could be seen as feral. 

As their hands begin to pump more rapidly, Jean feels himself shuddering and his body feels like it's coiling yet unravelling at the same time. Sweat clings to the both of their bodies and it's so fucking  _hot_ and the sound of their pre-come slicking in their grasp is just bringing them closer and _closer_ , their orgasm feels like an incoming tidal wave just waiting to crash over them. Their loud desperate noises intermingle and they should really be keeping it quiet but they couldn't care less.

The fire in Jean is completely ablaze now and he can suddenly feel every nerve in his body, from his scalp to his toes. His eyes close in utter bliss and he doesn't think he's ever come that hard before, a silent scream falls from his open mouth. Eren follows soon after with a harsh moan of Jean's name and collapses onto Jean, head rested on his pale chest. 

They listen to each other's breathing slowly even out, Jean's (cum-free) hand combs through Eren's soft tangle of hair. And it's nice, it's so nice and Eren feels like you should bounce back to the world after orgasm but it feels more like a separate world, this post-coital state, it's safe and warm in Jean's embrace and he doesn't want to leave. He doesn't want to leave this room to have to go back to that hiding, he wants to walk the streets with Jean hand in hand but they can't, it's not safe in this town and the thought makes Eren want to cry but instead he starts laughing, because Jean likes (and possibly even loves) him back and he doesn't need confirmation. Neither of them do, they just  _know_  and that's all they need for now. 

Jean raises his head, concerned at Eren's sudden burst of warm laughter. 

"Eren, are you alright?" He looks terribly worried so Eren tries to calm down for his sake.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good , " Eren says softly, a smile on his lips. "I'm happy," he says as he pecks Jean on his jaw.

A grin etches on Jean's lips at Eren's happiness and a warmth tightens at his heart. "Me too," he mumbles, brushing their noses together. 

And Eren, being Eren, swipes at Jean's nose with his tongue. 

"You fucker!" Jean screeches half-heartedly, making Eren erupt in giggles.

The two fall in silence again, bathing in each other's presence and it's unfamiliarly soft but neither of them really mind because they've been wanting, _craving_ this softness from the other for too long. 

Eren begins to wonder what this really means for them and he can't help but let the question slip from his lips, "What does this mean, for us?".

"I don't know," Jean replies honestly, "but it doesn't suck."

"No, you're right. It swallows," Eren drawls out, that signature impish grin of his widening even further, threatening to spill more giggles.

"Eren, for fuck's sake!" Jean chastises, but he's laughing too and it's ridiculous because they both have cum drying between their stomachs and they don't know what will happen after they walk out these doors but they're both hopelessly lost in one another and giddy at the knowledge that they both share the same feelings. Giddy that they are now together, in some form  or another. Giddy at the idea of being Jean and Eren, Eren and Jean.    


So yeah, it really doesn't suck at all. 

**Author's Note:**

> EREN HAS THE HUMOUR OF A TWELVE YEAR OLD, DON'T FIGHT ME ON THIS.  
> (also what are commas and semicolons ??? who knows ? obviously not me bc i abandoned the use of them)
> 
> but if you're reading this, you've put up with my writing for this long and thank you for that. if you have any feedback, don't hesitate to inform me of things i should improve on and all that jazz.  
> have a fantastic day xx


End file.
